So You Married The Wrong Man. Now What?

It’s Not Your Fault You Married The Wrong Man. Now what?

We need more women to divorce their husbands if we’re serious about creating a better world. I’m not talking about women who are physically, emotionally and/or sexually abused, because that’s a given. What I’m referring to are women who have spent their married lives supporting other peoples dreams and now feel stifled by men who don’t support their need to become more than a wife and mother.

I Write From Experience

I was 23 when my mom divorced my father. The problems with their marriage began when I was 8 and God called mom to the ministry, which was not a traditional job for women in the early 70’s. For the next 15 years she struggled to live with a man who didn’t support her calling. And then for the thirty years that followed the divorce, I watched mom’s life flourish as she continued to do the work she felt called to do and discovered a new passion she pursued until the day she died. 

What Exactly Does It Mean To Be A Woman?

When we succumb to social mores about what it means to be a woman we rob ourselves of the inherent greatness of fifty percent of the population. And who doesn’t believe that fifty percent of the population using their unique gifts to live more passionate lives makes the world a better place for all of us? Talk about the mother of all rhetorical questions!

Why You Shouldn’t Expect Your Man To Change On His Own

Most men want status quo marriages because they’re afraid they will have to change in order to keep the marriage they’ve got. But what they either don’t realize or worse, don’t care about, is the longing their partner has to find meaning outside of the daily grind of selflessly doing for others. And as long as men are getting what they expect and need from a relationship they’re unlikely to change on their own. 

One Essential Thing Many Women Lack

In conversations with women about their daily lives, my biggest takeaway is that many of them suffer from a lack of self love. That’s easy to understand when they’re so busy doing for others that they lose sight of the urgent need to do for themselves. And the obvious solution for men is to create space for the women they love to love themselves.

Why Staying Married For The Kids Is A Horrible Idea

Self love is essential for a happy life and a healthy marriage! And it’s one of the most important life lessons you can teach your children. An argument I often hear from women who advocate for staying in relationships that starve their souls is that they’re doing it for their kids. And while stick-to-itiveness may be admirable in some circumstances, do you really want your children modeling your go-along-to-get-along strategy in their own married lives?

The Answer For Women In The 21st Century

What we need are more women taking control of their destinies. We need them to unleash their unique gifts and dreams on a world starving for their greatness. We need them to pursue their passions with the same intensity they had when they first got married and had kids. In other words, we need the women in our lives to be authentically themselves. Because that’s the best way to move this giant orb we call earth, forward.

And If Your Man Doesn’t Agree?

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